"People talk about respite as a break for families and a chance to catch up on sleep. It is so much more than that. It’s all the other benefits to Stephen and our family that really count – you can always catch up on sleep another time!!"
Stephen Clarke, aged 15, is a regular visitor at Teach Saoirse Respite Center in Nenagh, Co. Tipperary. His dad, John Clarke, explains how Stephen, who was diagnosed with Autism at the age of two, had never spent a night away from his family until Teach Saoirse opened.
“Stephen was diagnosed with autism at two years of age. At the time we knew nothing about it. It was a steep learning curve and we got a range of different supports from Enable Ireland over the years. For a long time respite was not a reality for us. We were slow to let Stephen go from us. He didn’t do leaving our house very well, even if we went to stay with other family members it was very difficult for him. He was very uncertain about not being in his own house. But that changed once the plans for Teach Saoirse started to become a reality.
Martin, Stephen’s keyworker from Enable Ireland, started to come and do home visits with Stephen. He build up a relationship with him by coming to the house for a few hours at a time. He began to get Stephen to do things that he hadn’t done before, like walking the mile to our local shop. They built up a friendship and Stephen had trust and confidence in Martin, which made a dramatic difference. Stephen started to go to the old Enable Ireland respite house in Bayly Farm. He didn’t stay overnight but he gradually started spending more time there and getting comfortable with the environment and with Martin. Then when Teach Saoirse opened he did his first overnight. The transition to the new surroundings in Teach Saoirse worked perfectly for him because of the trust he had built up with Martin. And we were at ease letting him go because we knew he was confident about going.
Stephen is non-verbal and he can’t tell us what he did or how he got but we can gauge from his reactions how he got on and so we do know when he is comfortable in a situation or not. This is very important to us, to know that he is comfortable staying over in Teach Saoirse. Going to Teach Saoirse is like a treat to Stephen. He has two overnight stays every month and he knows in advance the dates that he is going. It is his reward and he works for it with good behaviour in between stays.
"As a father of a child with autism there are huge benefits to Stephen being able to avail of respite. It goes beyond just Stephen and impacts the whole family. For example, prior to Teach Saoirse Stephen had never spent a night away from us, his parents. But what if there was an emergency situation and something happened to myself or Suzanne and he had to stay somewhere on his own? Now we have peace of mind that he is prepared for this and that he can stay on his own. "
Stephen has a younger brother Robert (aged 14) and older sister Laura (aged 19). When Stephen is in Teach Saoirse, it’s an opportunity for us to do something ‘normal’ as a family. Because of Stephen’s autism doing things as a family, like going for a meal together or the cinema, can be very difficult. Usually one of us will stay with Stephen and the other will go with his siblings. Now we can go for a meal with Robert and Laura and that is hugely beneficial for us all. Robert and Laura are very understanding of Stephen’s needs and they don’t begrudge him at all but it can be difficult for them at times. Stephen doesn’t have an obvious disability so people can look at his behaviour and think he is just being bold or that we are bad parents. That can be difficult for everyone.
People talk about respite as a break for families and a chance to catch up on sleep. It is so much more than that. It’s all the other benefits to Stephen and our family that really count – you can always catch up on sleep another time!!"